Math sem ended.
Loved this sem better then the first first and second time i took it..why?
It was fast!
My teacher can finally speak good english *mean mode*
Met really cool people
I finally figured out complex fractions, rational expressions and we took linear equations! haha
and we get to make blogs like this..thats the coolest thing. i swear.

so yeah in conclusion:

YEAH!

Today i turn 19.
is that math? haha it's a number and it's my day so i guess it would pass? :P
oh and what i want?



and
peace of mind.
Happiness.
Love.
God.

and can someone bring me to Canada please? now now! i can go anytime! Please i'm counting the days haay

Happy happy !
Thank you! yes you yes!
Good day!:P

Here's a song i found on the net written by some guy who seemed to be on the same league as i am haha :P

Failing My Calculus
by Kenny Felder
To the Tune of "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls

I'm trying to get through this alive,
Maybe figure out these tangents and cosines,
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take this course less seriously,
It's only math, after all
yeah

Well, I kind of understood my high school algebra,
And in trig at least I pulled a solid "B",
But Calculus—I don't know why I'm in it,
Excuse me, but I think I've reached my limit,
As I approach despair.

Chorus:
These "D"s and these "X"s, they make me so nervous,
Who cares what the area under a curve is?
I don't know the answer to these questions, slopes and curves and tangent lines,
And the less I see the point of the derivative,
I'm failing my Calculus.
I'm failing my Calculus.

Well, I went to see the teacher, with a sheepish grin,
And he looked at me like I was just a wart upon his chin,
I've tried so hard, but I can't understand it,
I'm so right brained that I can write left handed,
I spent four hours prostrate, staring at the wall,
And I still don't understand "e".

(Chorus)

I stopped by the Web at three a.m.
To seek help from alt.algebra, and possibly from Ken,
But this is just a way that my brain won't work,
So listen, if you'll only do my homework,
I'll help your favorite charity. (Chorus)


Haha i think it's kinda stupid though but hahah. I remember Jack Black's "Math is a wonderful thing" song number in school of rock. That was really funny. I wonder if i'll ever make a song about math someday, i think that would be really interesting. "P

THAT DAY.

You see it's one of those days when you have to deal with a lot of stuff and you weigh things over and see which one you should face first then in the middle everything planned was going well then it suddenly hits you, then you're back walking alone and talking to God again.

I had my final presentation in comm which is was 50% of our final grade at around 9am and my 3rd long exam in math at 1pm. So you see i was rehearsing and stuff for comm because i don't want to look stupid in front of many people. This presentation was really killing me you know and i did my best from the videos, content, the visuals, surveys and what needs to be done and everything. It's really nerve racking and so it happened.. umm it went well. We're included in the top 3 best according to Dr. Molo and so i was happy that it's done and everthing paid off.

Time for math.

Then it happened. It was before lunch time just right after my comm presentation when i felt my tummy was throbbing, it was okay first then it became worse like it's gonna blow my whole body off. I swear that pelvic pain was one of the worsts i've ever felt. I can't even walk, i wanted to go home and go to my room to ease the pain. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to call my mom to bring me home but did not because the last time this happened she panicked and went crazy over me in the hospital, so i decided to deal with the pain. I was walking alone in school and thinking whether i'm gonna take the math test or not. I was supposed to study after my presentation at 11...so i still got 2 hours to study before 1pm and so i was walking alone in acb texting my friends what i'm gonna do..i sat in the comfort room for 15 minutes thinking about it and it's already 12:35 and i don't know what i'm gonna do. The pain was eating me, i can't even walk. I decided to just go take the exam.

During the exam i thought i was gonna die. I swear. I wanted to cry in there but I CANNOT because in the real world like in that classroom, you cannot just do that. So i sat and waited for the exam to begin, when i got the test and looked at it, everything was blurry already and i suddenly forgot everything i have studied. I answered some parts and i did not even care whether i am doing it right, i just wanna finish it, the pain was too much. In the middle of the exam, i got up and told my teacher i was going to the wash room. I did not go there to pee or what, i just sat in there and held the pain. Then i came back in class, answered some parts and left half of the exam unanswered. I cannot concentrate anymore. So i submitted my paper and bid goodbye to that third long exam and the excemption. I just need 36.5 points to be excempted and i blew it. I have no choice. It was too much.

So i was texting my brother to pick me up ASAP and he was with his girlfriend and he said he'll pick me up afer 2 hours..2 freakin hours and i'm gonna die. So i was walking outside school and did not know where i was going then i decided i'll go to nikole's dorm just few block away from school..so i was walking and the pain was killing me ten times more.. i was walking slowly and telling myself..hang on...it's near..you'll be lying in bed after 2 minutes.. so i was i was already in nikole's dorm and i rang the doorbell..and natalie..the german roommate opened the door so i was very ready to barge in and just go rest in there when nat said nikole was not there..i was about to ask her if i still can come in and wait for nikole.. but she answered me "I'm sorry she's not here" and slammed the door in my face. I swear that KILLED ME. I asked myself what i am going to do now..so i went down..walking in the street near residencia..while i was about to cross and i was holding my tummy and the pain..i don't know but i asked God.. if i did something wrong lately.. i've been very good., i've studied and did my duties in school.. what did i do wrong? then i was crossing the street then i bumped into sara and joyce..my eyes lit up and they said they were heading to their dorm..and in that moment... tears just fell off my face.. and sara and joyce was like surprised and they brought me inside the dorm and made everything okay.

That day.

I don't know what came on but i felt so alive and kept thinking about stuff.. i don't even know why i cried..maybe it's the moment when i felt like life really loves them curveballs and boom suddenly i saw sara and joyce.. my good friends.. and it's like God did not let me down again. I'll never ever forget that day when i aced my scary comm presentation and had a killer pelvic pain, then failed my math exam and sara playing my angel.

Goodbye excemption. I think i go 12 out of 50 in that 3rd long exam. I just could not think. Everything in me was being eaten up by the pain. There's still the final exam, hope it would be different this time, after all, i don't even any presentation whatsoever in the morning, so i don't need to ace anything except THAT MATH EXAM. No more paying for luck. It's just that.

I need to get 37out of 50 tomorrow to be excempted from the finals. 74%.
I can't understand radicals.
I hope i pass.
God is good.
I've worked so hard.

I just wanna announce that i passed both my MATH 2nd long exam and intro. to comm exam (ok this should not be here but it happened on the same day and they're both hard so..) 39/50 in math. Shiit i realized that i will never ever again get a score as good as that in math, my whole college life. Maybe i would if i take algeb and trig for the 6th time.. you think so? hahah algebra and rational expression = fun. Now we have RADICALS. i hate radicals. That thing depresses me, too much. Too much. I swear it does. Help.

If my friends and i were given a chance to abolish something, without any doubt, i think we would all choose MATH.

You see this photo beside are my two closest friends pouring their minds and hearts out for math. Right now, they are taking up their PHD in algebra and trigonometry and from what i've seen so far, they are SLOWLY making progress. I guess math has really played an important part in our daily lives. Math comprises half of our never ending headache causes, 1/4 of our rants in a day, 12k of our tuition fee in a year, 48% of our broken heart and 90% of why at the end of the day, we call ourselves DUMB. I always tell people and even my relatives that i could do anything in school. I could write an overnight 25 page paper and would take a long ass essay or objective exam as long as there's no math. I will never win with math. It is something that i'll never OWN for the rest of my life. You see i have my bad days in lit, english, history, politics but i still manage to OWN it sometimes like when i OWNED my overnight lit paper with a 1.25 and i OWNED my history exam by getting the top score in our batch. You see, i think that will never happen to me in math, maybe that also adds up why i get so OWNED by guys who are good in math (Yes pogi points yun! :P). Like when my friends and i are talking about a certain guy and it will go something like this.. "He's so cute..and HE IS GOOD IN MATH!" and we would all be like "YEAHH REALLY???! OOOh" haha. We're so dumb with it that it became a wishlist for us or sort of like connected to being amazing. It would really be cool if i get a guy that i really want plus he is a math whiz or something. It is very possible since a lot of guys i know are practically good in math... and uh... well atleast better than most girls. I even had this weird thinking that what if i trade all my other skills with math. As in all. Hahah that would be a riot. So those who excel in both the arts and sciences are really lucky. Someone once told me that there's no such thing is being bad in this and good in this. Like it is really UP TO YOU. I think it depends like based from my experience, I TRIED SO HARD (did i?) in knowing math but i really cannot feel that ambiance and vibe that i get with the arts and words. I guess i don't try hard enough or from the beginning i already tell myself and accept that i won't do this ...i cannot so i always ended up...yeah.you know.. there.. not doing and liking it. So if you really excel in both and you LOVE both, lucky you. Hahah i know someone who's into math and the arts. She teaches math and breathes GAIMAN. How hot is that? hahah that i swear is a killer combination. I could OWN this world if i'd have both. :)

DISCLAIMER: Forgive the owner of this blog for redundantly using the words OWN and OWNED. It has been a tendency that she got from watching too much sports and debating with guys why Kobe Bryant will never be as good as Michael Jordan. If you find it really annoying ,
then shoot her now.

It's sad.

I got 28.5 out of 50 in my math exam.

You see i just need a 1.5 points to get 60% and i am so frustrated not because i failed but it's just that i know deep in my heart that i could have done so much better than the result. The exam was pretty fair. I know everything about it. It is just that i took some parts for granted and thought it would not do much in the result. I was also not able to answer some parts that would add big money to my score due to the time and lack of it. I swear i wanted to shout for being stupid and dumb. I have always been that kind of person, taking little things for granted. It was always in the final minute and after that i would get the hang of reality that even a freakin 0.5 counts! Even the least amount of things, the extra points and the few remaining seconds count in LIFE. It got me a lot of times already. I remember that NBA game two years ago when Derek Fisher of the Los Angeles Lakers made a heart breaking buzzer beater with 0.4 remaining in the clock to beat and eliminate my beloved San Antonio Spurs in the NBA playoffs. It is not even ONE second. The game has practically ended but he made shot and it went in. And He made a record in history with that shot. It ripped my hearts out. As You see i'm this basketball junkie and i cry when my team lose especially when i see my boys (i call my favorite players that:P) sad. So imagine how i cursed Derek Fisher after that. I even felt more sad when t-shirts were released with a logo : GOT FISH? 0.4 . How sad right? You see the problem with my spurs is that they did not anticipate that anyone can still make a shot with that time remaining. Who would anyway? my boys practically thought they had won the game! It was definitely a big lesson for them and the whole sports world.

So yeah today April 29 2006. My beloved San antonio spurs was defeated again by ONE POINT in the on going NBA playoffs. The score was 93-94 and it was again a buzzer beater with 17 seconds remaining in the game. Yeah that' s still a lot of time compared to 0.4 but what the heck.. we lost again ..by a point! You know those feelings. It will haunt you forever because i'd rather lose by 25 points than lose by 1 in the reamaining seconds. Anyway my point is... what i am feeling is kinda similar. It was just negligence and being dumb to know the importance of even the little things.. that i failed my math exam. I mean i know how to solve everything in there.. i studied! I just feel bad about it and this has happened to me before in math too... i never change? hahah i will really try to put this in my mind and heart. TO KNOW THAT EVEN THE TINIEST AND SIMPLEST THINGS, THE 0.30839839 POINTS AND EVEN 0.4 SECONDS COUNT! Remember the quote Vin Diesel said in the movie, the fast and the furious?

"It does not matter if you win by an inch or a mile, a win is a win!"

I could not agree more.

Today i went to the mall with my Grandma, brother and his girlfriend to shop. It was sale so i decided to seize the day amidst the arms, sweat and stampede like atmosphere inside the mall. I kept on going inside every shop, browsing for some god stuff. It was funny though because i was computing for the amount of every item. Everybody was asking me how much this would cost after blank percent discount. Hahah it was odd but i enjoyed computing for them. I swear it was like a vacation from reality and i was this math wiz that everyone goes to when they have questions. I know it is just percent but it was cool. I loved solving for the discount and my grandma's reaction when i tell her how much we would pay from this certain item from the discount. It is only percent..ok i know! but i am happy so shoot me now but i love percents and discounts. Atleast, something in math that i actually like. :P

Hi, I am Roanna.

I hate MATH and MATH hates me too.

We've been hating each other since my freshmen year in high school. We used to be friends when i was a little girl but i don't know what happened. Now he is killing me big time like i did something really really horrible to him. I tried to think of reasons but i could not think of something that would give justice to what he is doing to me right now. So i guess, just like all the others, he got fed up with my hissy attitude. And now he is owning and schooling me big time. Well sure he did have some reasons to feel that way, i mean i took him for granted because i fell in love with English during that time and i started ignoring him. Quickly, i started unlearning every bit of him, every trace, every corner. I was too damn busy to even notice that he was slowly running away from me. And too damn stupid to figure out that he was plotting a revenge on me.

So i was with ENGLISH for a long time. We did have a very neat relationship. He does not demand too much and i don't either. We were both happy with what each of us can give to each other. Even the simpliest and tiniest things. You see, i have a very disorganized mind and therefore i am disorganized in almost everything. Even that way i treated him. I don't follow his rules well, i was bad in sentence organization, pretty careless in punctuations and average in grammar. The only thing i think i was very consistent from the beginning was my spelling. I even won several competitions that made him really proud. The thing that made my relationship with English very good was the fact that though i aint perfect and i don't treat him very well in some aspects, he does not complain. Maybe it was also the fact that i would not mind if he does complain, i would not change anyway. I'm happy with what he's giving me though sometimes he does not look very well too, due also to my said deformities. But we're happy in a lot of ways. With Math, i was very sad. I did not like how we turned out to be. It just could not work. He demands too much, more than what i can do and give. I tried very hard but it just cannot seem to work to the point that i lost total interest in him and he subsequently walked away from me.

Right now, i am trying my very best to win him back again. He rejected me twice already but i won't give up. I cannot. I need him so bad in this life. I am starting to learn him again, every trace and corner, hoping to gain back the beauty that we once had during my pre-teen years. It is definitely hard. But i am making progress especially with the help of some really good friends. Hopefully he'll accept me again, maybe not as close as before but i would not mind a simple hello every day. It would definitely make my life a bit bearable.