It's sad.

I got 28.5 out of 50 in my math exam.

You see i just need a 1.5 points to get 60% and i am so frustrated not because i failed but it's just that i know deep in my heart that i could have done so much better than the result. The exam was pretty fair. I know everything about it. It is just that i took some parts for granted and thought it would not do much in the result. I was also not able to answer some parts that would add big money to my score due to the time and lack of it. I swear i wanted to shout for being stupid and dumb. I have always been that kind of person, taking little things for granted. It was always in the final minute and after that i would get the hang of reality that even a freakin 0.5 counts! Even the least amount of things, the extra points and the few remaining seconds count in LIFE. It got me a lot of times already. I remember that NBA game two years ago when Derek Fisher of the Los Angeles Lakers made a heart breaking buzzer beater with 0.4 remaining in the clock to beat and eliminate my beloved San Antonio Spurs in the NBA playoffs. It is not even ONE second. The game has practically ended but he made shot and it went in. And He made a record in history with that shot. It ripped my hearts out. As You see i'm this basketball junkie and i cry when my team lose especially when i see my boys (i call my favorite players that:P) sad. So imagine how i cursed Derek Fisher after that. I even felt more sad when t-shirts were released with a logo : GOT FISH? 0.4 . How sad right? You see the problem with my spurs is that they did not anticipate that anyone can still make a shot with that time remaining. Who would anyway? my boys practically thought they had won the game! It was definitely a big lesson for them and the whole sports world.

So yeah today April 29 2006. My beloved San antonio spurs was defeated again by ONE POINT in the on going NBA playoffs. The score was 93-94 and it was again a buzzer beater with 17 seconds remaining in the game. Yeah that' s still a lot of time compared to 0.4 but what the heck.. we lost again ..by a point! You know those feelings. It will haunt you forever because i'd rather lose by 25 points than lose by 1 in the reamaining seconds. Anyway my point is... what i am feeling is kinda similar. It was just negligence and being dumb to know the importance of even the little things.. that i failed my math exam. I mean i know how to solve everything in there.. i studied! I just feel bad about it and this has happened to me before in math too... i never change? hahah i will really try to put this in my mind and heart. TO KNOW THAT EVEN THE TINIEST AND SIMPLEST THINGS, THE 0.30839839 POINTS AND EVEN 0.4 SECONDS COUNT! Remember the quote Vin Diesel said in the movie, the fast and the furious?

"It does not matter if you win by an inch or a mile, a win is a win!"

I could not agree more.

Today i went to the mall with my Grandma, brother and his girlfriend to shop. It was sale so i decided to seize the day amidst the arms, sweat and stampede like atmosphere inside the mall. I kept on going inside every shop, browsing for some god stuff. It was funny though because i was computing for the amount of every item. Everybody was asking me how much this would cost after blank percent discount. Hahah it was odd but i enjoyed computing for them. I swear it was like a vacation from reality and i was this math wiz that everyone goes to when they have questions. I know it is just percent but it was cool. I loved solving for the discount and my grandma's reaction when i tell her how much we would pay from this certain item from the discount. It is only percent..ok i know! but i am happy so shoot me now but i love percents and discounts. Atleast, something in math that i actually like. :P

Hi, I am Roanna.

I hate MATH and MATH hates me too.

We've been hating each other since my freshmen year in high school. We used to be friends when i was a little girl but i don't know what happened. Now he is killing me big time like i did something really really horrible to him. I tried to think of reasons but i could not think of something that would give justice to what he is doing to me right now. So i guess, just like all the others, he got fed up with my hissy attitude. And now he is owning and schooling me big time. Well sure he did have some reasons to feel that way, i mean i took him for granted because i fell in love with English during that time and i started ignoring him. Quickly, i started unlearning every bit of him, every trace, every corner. I was too damn busy to even notice that he was slowly running away from me. And too damn stupid to figure out that he was plotting a revenge on me.

So i was with ENGLISH for a long time. We did have a very neat relationship. He does not demand too much and i don't either. We were both happy with what each of us can give to each other. Even the simpliest and tiniest things. You see, i have a very disorganized mind and therefore i am disorganized in almost everything. Even that way i treated him. I don't follow his rules well, i was bad in sentence organization, pretty careless in punctuations and average in grammar. The only thing i think i was very consistent from the beginning was my spelling. I even won several competitions that made him really proud. The thing that made my relationship with English very good was the fact that though i aint perfect and i don't treat him very well in some aspects, he does not complain. Maybe it was also the fact that i would not mind if he does complain, i would not change anyway. I'm happy with what he's giving me though sometimes he does not look very well too, due also to my said deformities. But we're happy in a lot of ways. With Math, i was very sad. I did not like how we turned out to be. It just could not work. He demands too much, more than what i can do and give. I tried very hard but it just cannot seem to work to the point that i lost total interest in him and he subsequently walked away from me.

Right now, i am trying my very best to win him back again. He rejected me twice already but i won't give up. I cannot. I need him so bad in this life. I am starting to learn him again, every trace and corner, hoping to gain back the beauty that we once had during my pre-teen years. It is definitely hard. But i am making progress especially with the help of some really good friends. Hopefully he'll accept me again, maybe not as close as before but i would not mind a simple hello every day. It would definitely make my life a bit bearable.